Sunday, December 14, 2008

Fake Hobos?

This past week has seen an increase in the number of encounters I've had with homeless people. I don't know if its because I haven't done my laundry in a few weeks and my re-worn clothing is producing a comforting, relatable odor to them, but for some reason these people are honing in on me at an alarming rate. I consider myself a fairly generous person, and I'll try to give a few kuai here and there (especially if it’s a woman with a child), but this constant bombardment is starting to get annoying. My one issue is when a homeless person decides to touch me- I'm fine with you asking me for money, but once you start grabbing and tugging at me it gets really annoying and there's no way I'm going to give you anything. Well, thanks to these beggars’s new-found level of comfort with me, the tugging is up. This Friday, I got Mexican food in Sanlitun with Estee, and since we ordered way too much food we needed to take some food to go. As we walked back home, a homeless woman came up to me and started asking for money. I ignored her, so she started tugging on my sleeve. I told her to go away, so she grabs my bag of food and starts tugging on it! This has never happened to me before, and the gumption of her trying to steal my food made me laugh more than anything else, but I still needed to pull my food back from out of her hands and tell her to beat it. THE GUMPTION!

I was riding an escalator a few days ago, and a homeless guy riding in front of me decides it’s a good time to pass out and fall backwards on top of me. I could have moved out of the way, but he probably would have died, so instead I supported him until we got to the top of the escalator. He was just drunk, and once we got off he was good to go, but it took several hours before the sweat smell of shit came off my gloves. THE GUMPTION!

Considering the huge number of people living here in Beijing, there are actually very few homeless on the streets. I know the government cleared the city of pretty much all homeless folk during the Olympics, but now that the summer games have been over for a few months it appears they are slowly making their return back to their old stomping grounds. I had assumed the government had just killed them all, but apparently they were just shipped out of the city for a few months. Anyways, I was talking to my Chinese friend Zhangyi the other day about homeless people, and to my surprise he told me that most of the homeless people on the street were just actors. Apparently CCTV did a report on the homeless, and they found that most of them just dress up to appear homeless because they make a pretty good living off the generosity of Westerners. Zhangyi said that of course there are some real homeless people, but you can't tell who is real and who isn't, so most Chinese just ignore them all. CCTV is controlled by the government, and so you need to take everything they say with a grain of salt, but that is a pretty ridiculous accusation to make. Are you really telling me that begging is so profitable that people are willing to wander the cold Beijing streets day and night dressed up as a bum? Did someone really make a conscious decision to smell like shit and pass out on top of me? If that’s the case, that guys a real asshole. But seriously, what’s up with the government denying all these problems they have? Can't they just admit there is a homeless problem and work to solve it, as opposed to running stories saying that the homeless are actors?


I’m going to go do some laundry, but if I find any further information about these “fake” homeless people I’ll be sure to link it!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Sandra Oh Has A Donkey Face

So its been about a month since I've last posted on the blog, and while most of you would assume its because I've been deathly sick and incapacitated this whole time, the truth is I've just been lazy. I suppose I've been busy too, but I'll put most of the blame on me enjoying naps instead of writing. Anyways, this posting is focused on a bar conversation I had this past weekend with my old Chinese roommate Zhangyi, who I lived with when I studied in Beijing two years ago. Zhangyi is awesome, not just because he's funny, but because I can learn a lot about the Chinese culture by talking to him. This week I learned a bit about what Chinese men find attractive in women, and as you can probably guess it differs a bit from Western standards.

We can agree on at least one thing- Sandra Oh has a donkey face. But the reasoning behind her being ugly runs much deeper for the Chinese than for the average American. In fact, one of the main reasons most Chinese men feel Sandra Oh ugly applies to many women (many of whom I myself find attractive). According to Zhangyi, and of course Zhangyi speaks for the 1,000,000,000 + Chinese people in the world, something the Chinese take very seriously into account is whether or not a girl was one or two eyelids. I had never really thought about that before, and to be honest if you asked me which of my Chinese friends had one or two eyelids I don't think I could tell you. But since having that conversation I have begun observing Chinese girls more closely and have noticed that some have two eyelids and some just have one. Having two eyelids as opposed to one doesn't mean the girls don't look Asian, but there is a noticeable difference in their appearance. Take a look at the pictures to the leftt- you'll see the woman on top has one eyelid, while the woman on the bottom has two. Both are clearly Asian, but the one on the right has a bit more "puffiness" under her lower eyelid.

So, do you find one more attractive than the other? I personally don't see any difference in either of them, or at least not a noticeable enough difference to consider one better looking than the other. Still, to the Chinese (and for that matter most Asian cultures), this is a big enough difference to encourage drastic cosmetic surgery to be preformed in order to become "more beautiful." Just going online to try and find the above comparison shots lead me to many websites touting the pluses of getting Blepharoplasty, aka Double Eye-lid surgery. According to one website, approximately 75 percent of all Koreans and 50 percent of all other Asians are born without the double eyelid crease, meaning there are plenty of potential patients for this growing market! If you get a chance, read the above link- it has some very interesting viewpoints on the topic.

I asked Zhangyi if the same standards applied to men, and he told me no. Zhangyi himself has single eyelids, but he's proud of them. "I'm the only one in my family to be born with single eyelids, so I'm proud of being unique." I haven't asked any Chinese girls yet if that's true, but to be honest I don't know if I want to bring up this touchy topic or not with them.

So there you have it- Chinese men find Sandra Oh ugly in large part because she doesn't have double eyelids. Seeing that over half of the women in China also only have single eyelids, I wonder if half the population considers themselves settling down with ugly girls? Personally, and I think most Americans would agree, the eyelids aren't a factor at all, nor are some of the other traits the Chinese find attractive (such as pale skin). I'm interested to see what Chinese girls find attractive in a man- maybe that can help explain why so many Chinese girls here are dating foreigners!