Never Take a Cab to the Airport Again

I need to give major props to the new "Airport Express" line on the Beijing Subway- I finally got a chance to ride it earlier this month, and I was really impressed by how clean, fast, and comfortable the thing is. Riding this line has a one-way flat fare of 25 kuai, but it is totally worth it. I have an apartment near Bagou subway stop, and were I to take a cab from there to the airport I'd run up a fare of over 100 kuai, but now I can now take a subway for a quarter of the price that takes the same amount of time as a cab would! Take a look at the photo to the right. That is the new subway, not a train. Those are individual seats! The Chinese are actually encouraging personal space! There is even plenty of room for baggage. And the very best part of all is you never need to worry about dying in a horrible Beijing car accident again! Huzzah!

The Chinese Have No Respect For Rules

Take a look at the photo on the right. This was taken in a noodle restaurant in the Chaoyang district of Beijing. In the photo you will see a man smoking a cigarette- not a surprise here, since people will pretty much smoke anywhere and everywhere in China. What makes the photo awesome though is the sign CLEARLY stating "No Smoking" in the upper right corner of the picture. This is just another example of the Chinese not caring about what other people think or say- they do what they want and that's that. This trait can definitely be annoying at times, but then there are instances like this here where there is nothing you can do but laugh at them.

Childrens Clothing Gone Bad

One of my very favorite things to do here in China is to read the many horrible misspellings printed everywhere. When I say everywhere, I'm talking official state documents to subway advertisements to roadside maps. And now, everywhere has expanded to children's clothing lines. Huzzah! It's not just misspellings that are affecting these poor children's clothes- its horrible judgment and a complete lack of understanding of the English language by the printers that is now making hilarious/horribly inappropriate apparel. Let's look at some examples I've managed to snap photos of:


Example #1 can be seen on the left. This is one of my many kindergartners. Her name is Wendy. She is very cute, and loves to laugh. She also loves to wear a sweatshirt with the word "Shit" written across it. My question is, why was this shirt ever made, let alone as a small children's t-shirt? The word "Shit" is not a mistake- this is one of the few shirts I have seen in China where the spelling is correct and that doesn't happen unless someone takes the time to check it out.


Example #2 can be seen on the left, and I would argue this is even worse than the first example. This too is a children's shirt I am holding up, and it isn't hard to notice the words "Touch Me Now" printed across the chest. A cute heart across the center further encourages young girls to wear it. Now I've been joking the past few months about China being a pedophiles paradise, but for God's sake how did this shirt ever get approved to be made for kids?! Was this just a mix-up with something along the lines of "hug me," or is there a creeper working behind the scenes making these perverse shirts? I don't even know what I'd do if I saw one of my students wearing this shirt. By the way, that shirt was being sold en mass at the local Beijing Walmart.

OK well those are the only pictures I've taken so far, but I assure you there will be more in the future (but hopefully not children's shirts)!

The Beijing Zoo is a Dump

Q: What's more depressing than the Beijing Zoo?
A: The Beijing Zoo when its raining!

Oh it feels so good to laugh again! I'm sure the poor animals could go for a laugh right about now, but unfortunately they're too busy fastening nooses out of bamboo grass or whatever the hell the zoo keepers feed them. In all seriousness though, the Beijing Zoo is really one of the most depressing places to go, and clearly didn't receive any of the funding the government doled out to the city to fix it up for the Olympics. I have been to the zoo twice now since getting to China (once in the rain, and the other time as a field trip with my kindergarten class), and each time I leave feeling like shit. How can the management of that place walk through the compound everyday, see all these depressed animals sitting in their old filth, and not even consider spending a bit of money to fix the place up?

Something else that has really bothered me each time I went to the zoo was the way people treated the animals. For instance, I was watching a big majestic Lion in his 10x10 cage (appropriate room dimensions for an animal that typically roams vast plains), when all of a sudden a Chinese guy walks up to the cage and starts clapping and screaming and growling at the animal, trying to get a reaction. Soon a few other Chinese men walked over and started screaming at the Lion, which looked like it just wanted someone to shoot it out of its misery. The zoo security guard just watched the whole thing and did nothing to stop it. I thought back to the Tiger attack that happened last summer, where a Siberian Tiger escaped from her cage and killed one person before getting killed herself. Now I know its tragic that someone was killed, but after seeing all the abuse these animals get, it's no wonder the tiger snapped. I'm sure she's considered a martyr amongst the animal community, someone who finally stood up against all the douches who harass them day in and day out. I would be lying if I told you I didn't want that poor Lion to escape from his cage...

Something else that really bothered me was the blatant disregard for the signs posted throughout the zoo. Is the vast majority of Chinese illiterate, or do they simply not care about signs asking people not to feed the animals, or not to touch the animals? Take a look at the photos to the right- you'll clearly see a sign that says "Do Not Touch," and then a picture of a man clearly touching said animal. If my damn Nokia wasn't so slow, you would have seen that man lift the poor sea turtle's fin out of the water and hold it there for a photo. Once again, the security did nothing to stop this.

I was pretty excited to see the new aquarium, since it is listed as the world's "largest inland aquarium." How did it stack up? Well... its definitely not as nice as the New England Aquarium, and the price tag was a bit high (120 RMB, as opposed to the 20 RMB it costs to go to the zoo), and the highly hyped Whale exhibit actually doesn't house whales... but it actually wasn't that bad. At least the fish weren't all on suicide watch, right?

I guess the main point of this blog is, shame on the Chinese for letting these animals live in these conditions! If one of the prized Pandas is sleeping in his own shit, just imagine what the other animals have to put up with. I don't know whats going to happen here, but something really needs to be done to fix the place up.

China Encourages Littering

So I saw this sign above a window on a train, and I was pretty confused as to what it was trying to tell me. Back in the states, seeing a circle with a line through it means you cannot do whatever is in that circle. If you see a sign with no line through it, that generally means you are allowed, if not encouraged, to do it! So when I see a sign with a man sticking his head out the window, and a bottle being tossed out that same window, what am I supposed to think? Come on China!